“Building resilience in children is not about making them tough. Resilience is the ability to recover from difficulties and manage how you feel.”

This morning I watched a 1-year-old hold her head out toward my touchless thermometer pointed between her eyes, reach out to me from her mom’s arms, and walk sure-footedly, holding out her hand for mine as we proceeded into her classroom. 

If you had told me this is what Monday on week 13 reopening a preschool would look like after an unexpected two-month closure due to a global pandemic, (or any Monday, ever!) I would have thought you’d lost your mind. 

There are a lot of things I’ve learned about life observing our youngest students over the years, but especially in the last three months. Here is a list of the top 5: 

1. Sometimes the fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself. Back in May we were all experiencing significant anxiety as we prepared to reopen the school. We worried children three and over wouldn’t keep their masks on. We worried the children wouldn’t wash their hands enough. We worried about how often to wash sheets and clean the playgrounds. The children were likely worried too. But on day one they showed us how it’s done. They came with positive attitudes, excited to learn and see their friends, and the worry dissipated. The older children have exceeded all expectations to wear masks and wash their hands, even keep a distance from each other for most of the day. We have watched them and we too have faced many difficult scenarios we worried about, but have gotten through every one. And we’ve all continued to show up. We, like the children, have found that the anticipation of the problem, was always worse than the problem itself. 

2. Time laughing with friends heals all. If you spent two minutes observing in one of our classrooms, you would see the children excited, learning, and thrilled to be back with their friends. It’s as if they never left. 

3. Resilience does not come from never encountering difficulties. It comes from facing difficulties, showing up every day, and adapting. Of course, no one wants to see a three-year-old navigate how to wear a mask while going about his daily activities, but rather than complain, the children have quickly adapted. Not only do they wear their masks, but they’re also often excited to tell us at carpool about the new design they are wearing, or are taking it from their mom or dad to put it on themselves. It’s an unfortunate set of circumstances we find ourselves in as a community, no doubt, but as usual, our students are teaching us a thing or two about how to swiftly acclimate. 

4. Structure and consistency provide stability and feelings of safety. There are so many unknowns right now for all of us. So much out of our control. The structure and stability of a school day with the same teachers and administrators and a familiar schedule is a comfort for all of us able to be in school in person. You can see it in every child’s face and even the faculty. We can, and should, take comfort in the spaces we do have familiarity and consistency. 

There is still so much joy. These are unthinkably difficult times. People are sick, losing loved ones, losing jobs. Some days it feels like there is nothing to celebrate. But pay attention to your toddler. The elation on their face when they’ve been trying so hard to get their shoe on themselves and finally nail it. The giggle of excitement they let out when they see you at pick up after school. Celebrate the little moments. There is still so much joy if we continue to look for it and pause long enough to appreciate it.