Can You “Montessori” That?: How to Take Every Day Activities and Make Them “Montessori”

Bath Time

As teachers we enjoy supporting our parents and giving them great advice to carry the Montessori method into the home.  Many parents would like to partner with us and mirror our approach at school, but don’t know how! Here are some tips you could share with parents to help make the bath-time routine a little smoother, a lot more Montessori, and help feed every child’s budding sense of independence and confidence. Let’s help spread peaceful parenting one family at a time. 

Create a Visual Schedule

When you’re a toddler there are many things that are out of your control. You can help involve a child in the process by talking with them beforehand about their nightly routine. 

“What do we need to do before we go to bed?” Come up with a list of things: bath time, brush teeth, read books, etc. As they come with ideas, parents may place a picture or draw together a picture of the activity on a piece of paper or board. Children like to know what’s coming before it does (so they have time to process.) A visual schedule can also help a lot with this need! 

Prepare the Environment for Independence

Invite the child to turn on the bath with guidance, helping to check the temperature of the water and talking about which side makes it hotter and which side makes it cooler, allowing them to turn the knobs some.

Prepare the bath with tiny soaps rather than large bottles that can get messy quickly. Hotel soaps are usually the perfect size for little hands! 

Use tiny travel size bottles with just the right amount of shampoo or conditioner. Show your child how to squeeze it into their hands first and rub into their hair. Then let them have a try! 

Hang low hooks in the bathroom so your child is able to retrieve and hang their own towel. 

When it comes time to brush teeth, provide a low stool for the child so they can get up to the sink and mirror on their own. Place the toothbrush close enough so they are able to reach it independently. A toothbrush timer will let your child know how long to brush for before it’s your turn to help! Travel size toothpaste helps ensure they are able to get some paste onto the toothbrush independently creating less of a mess. 

Parents may feel like letting their child take over some of the nighttime routine slows down the process. It’s important we communicate that when we allow children to practice doing things themselves we empower them. When we jump in to do it for them, we unintentionally send the message that we do it better than them. Either we spend time guiding them how to do things themselves now, or we spend more time later on doing it for them.  Either way, we spend the time. 

Establishing Lasting Peace is the Work of Education

The title of this article comes from a quote by Maria Montessori, a true visionary who saw her work with children as directly impacting the future of the world at large. And it’s true; the children of our world will inevitably grow up to be adults responsible for the stability of our society, and how we choose to educate them directly influences how they will one day govern their responsibilities. 

Despite how innate our conflict resolution skills may feel to us as adults, these are skills that are cultivated from a very early age as we learn how to cope with one another, how to resolve disagreements, and how to compromise. As we mature in our ability to resolve conflict, we also learn how to be empathetic, compassionate, and tolerant of one another. But these skills must be practiced before we are able to intuitively navigate social conflict.

As an adult in a Montessori environment, you are constantly modeling how to handle stress and conflict with others to your students. Children are especially attuned to what we exhibit in natural, organic circumstances, as opposed to how we behave during a prepared lesson or interaction. This is often the first cue that children receive in how to handle their own instances of conflict.

Maria Montessori knew that young children would need physical, concrete tools, just like the materials they use for learning math and language skills, for conflict resolution skills as well. So the same care and preparation we put into our classroom environment, we extend to our focus on peace education, designating an area of the classroom that inspires ideas of peace and contains concrete tools such as a peace rose or peace stick. This object can be held in the child’s hands in order to facilitate turn taking in speaking to one another about a disagreement.

The Montessori classroom is designed to be an independently functioning community. It is not by accident that its structure mimics on a small scale the operations of a larger, adult community. This is to allow children the opportunity to practice scenarios they will inevitably face as adults, in a supportive setting.  Montessori children learn very quickly the actions they take impact others and there is a certain grace and courtesy that must be maintained to keep a harmonious balance within the community.

Having well developed “rights” of the classroom that are clear and consistent is another important aspect of peace education. Montessori children are often invited to participate in the creation of these rights, helping them take ownership and responsibility for making sure they are maintained. Some examples might include:

Everyone has a right to his or her own space.

Everyone has a right to work undisturbed.

Everyone has a right to work with beautiful materials.

Where there are two or more people, eventual conflict is inevitable. We must give our children the space and the tools to navigate conflict clearly, respectfully, and peacefully. The more they experience success with this approach, the more they will grow in their ability to utilize peaceful solutions to resolve disagreement, and this understanding of peace will extend far beyond the classroom, on into their roles as adult leaders in the community. 

Think of peace as a seed you are planting each day, for the future of the world depends on it.

Monte-Somethings: Why All Montessori Schools are not Created Equal

As parents read more articles about the rising demands of preschool and pushing children into rigorous academics too soon, as well as the lack of unstructured play, which can inhibit social skills and development, many are looking for alternative education options. Many schools are now clamoring for the Montessori label to meet parent interest. However, all Montessori schools are not created equal. Maria Montessori, one of the first female physicians in Italy, developed and perfected her method without trademarking the term. This means any school can refer to itself as “Montessori,” without actually adhering to, or in some cases, understanding what that means. 

Here are some things to look for in an authentic Montessori school:

• Multi-age classrooms. In a traditional Montessori Primary classroom children are 3-6 years old. Younger children often learn better from older peers than they do even from a teacher, because they are more interested. Older children gain leadership skills and confidence in being given the responsibility of showing younger children what to do. 

• Montessori materials. Montessori classrooms have hands-on materials that make abstract concepts concrete. If you do a Google search on Montessori lessons, you will find many wooden toys that are beautifully made, but do not necessarily have anything to do with Montessori concepts. A beautiful, hand-made, wooden toy, does not necessarily mean it is Montessori! 

• Three hour work cycle. Traditional preschools structure their day with centers and circle times where children transition from one subject to the next. In Montessori, children have an uninterrupted block of time; for Primary aged-children it’s 3 hours and for PrePrimary about 2 hours. This way they are able to develop their ability to focus and concentrate, which is a difficult skill for a 2 or 3 year old, but essential for their success.

• Montessori teachers that have gone through an accredited teacher-training program. Montessori lessons often have upwards of 50 steps and are presented in a very specific way. Teachers spend 1-2 years in class learning the steps for each lesson, which include the pace involved in presenting a lesson as well as the vocabulary used. After they have completed class they complete a 180-day practicum during which they are observed by another Montessori field consultant 4 times, and receive feedback on how to improve their teaching practice to best serve the children in their care. Simply having Montessori materials is only one piece of the equation. Having a carefully prepared guide to introduce the materials to the children is essential. 

It’s not uncommon to hear differing accounts of people’s experiences with or impressions of Montessori schools. Some report there is not enough freedom; while others feel there is too much and children run amok. Some Montessori schools claim they “follow the child,” while still insisting children meet arbitrary deadlines and engage in the same subjects at the same time. Some schools claim to be “Montessori-inspired,” though lack many of the qualities that an authentic Montessori school has - which have been shown to lead to better outcomes for children. Hyperlink to this article: http://www.montessori-science.org/Science_Evaluating_Montessori_Education_Lillard.pdf

There is no such thing as “Montessori-like.” Without multi-age classrooms, authentic Montessori materials with trained teachers who know how to present them, and an uninterrupted work cycle, the effects of a true Montessori program will not be the same. As a teacher or parent be wary of the Monte-somethings.

The Power of Observation

“When dealing with children there is greater need for observing than of probing.”

Maria Montessori

I’m a doer. As a Teacher in the classroom, I prided myself on being able to bounce from child to child and deliver the lessons they needed at the exact right time for their individual development. I moved at the speed of light and in such a frenzy I was doing the opposite of communicating the calm nature I hoped to instill.

Montessori training teaches you the importance of slowing down completely to simply observe. Stop doing, and start watching.

What I found during my practicum when I was forced to take 20-30 minutes during the school day to simply sit and observe the children, was that they often didn’t need me nearly as much as I thought.

Some of the most meaningful learning came either from one another, or when they figured something out on their own. When I was rushing around, determined to teach them things, I was often inadvertently robbing them of the opportunity to discover things for themselves.

Recently I went out to the toddler playground. A group of children were busy washing the chalkboards outside but there was one little guy crying by the door to go back in. He was new to the classroom and having some transition blues. First I tried to comfort him...to no avail. He wasn’t impressed with my offer of hugs or cajoling. So I went to plan B. I asked an older girl on the playground to check on him and ask if he was okay. Then I stepped back. This little girl went over, took him by the hand, gave him her brush to wash the chalkboard and proceeded to guide him on exactly how to do the lesson. He was fascinated; no longer scared, but engaged and excited. And the little girl felt pretty proud as well.

Children don’t need us to make them smarter, faster, kinder, stronger. They don’t even need us to tell them they already are. They don’t need us to chase their demons for them. They need us to step back and give them opportunities to prove to themselves that they are capable of slaying their own.

Positive Guidance: How to Give Firm and Kind Positive Directions (And Actually Get Cooperation!)

by Casey Hardigan

If you’re a parent or a teacher you have likely found that gaining cooperation from your child is the most difficult part of your job. When you’re too firm you end up feeling bad about yourself and perhaps gain compliance at best; at worst you may inspire thoughts of retaliation or rebellion. When you’re too kind you feel inadequate and frustrated with your child.

Positive Discipline, a method created by Dr. Jane Nelson, gives the tools to be both kind and firm at the same time and focuses on teaching children lifelong skills to successfully self regulate in the future when mom, dad, or teachers are not around.


What Does Positive Discipline Sound Like?

• Instead of “calm down,” -  “It seems like you are [frustrated, sad, etc.] How can I help you?”

• Rather than “stop crying,” - “I can see this is hard for you.”

• Instead of “you’re okay,” - “Are you okay?”

• Rather than “be quiet” - “ Use an inside voice.”

• Instead of “don’t hit,” - “Please use gentle hands.”

• Rather than “stop yelling,” - “Take a deep breath, then tell me what happened so I can hear and understand you.”

• Instead of “Don’t get upset,” - “It’s okay to feel sad.”

• Rather than “That’s enough,” - “It seems like you need a minute. I am going to go over here and you let me know when you are ready to talk.”

• Instead of “I’m over this,” try “ It seems like you are frustrated. It’s okay to be frustrated. It’s not okay to kick the chair. When you are frustrated you can take deep breaths, kick a ball, talk to me about why, etc.”

What Does Positive Discipline Look Like?

• Have clear expectations - “As soon as you finish ___, then you may ___.”

• Respond with a question - “Would you like to do this yourself, or do you want/need my help?”

• Check understanding/knowledge - “What needs to happen before you can ___?”

• Limited choices - “Would you rather get dressed now or take your clothes to school in your bag?”

• Come to a mutual agreement - “If I let you ___, when will you ___?”

• Follow through - “What was our agreement?”

Why Does it Matter in the Long Run?

Rewards and punishments are popular methods to gain cooperation among parents and teachers for good reason. Sticker charts, iPad time, and treats will absolutely tame a tantrum or award you a few moments of peace and quiet. Positive Discipline requires more thought, practice, and time. However, rather than teaching a child that he should listen and do the right thing to attain an extrinsic reward - Positive Discipline helps children learn self regulation, responsibility, cooperation, and the belief that they are capable.

In The Science Behind the Genius, Angelline Lillard discusses some of the research. While extrinsic incentives work in the short term, for most children, in the long haul, they “disrupt the very behaviors they aim to promote. Children’s motivation to engage in activities further, their cognitive functioning, their creativity, and their prosocial behaviors are all negatively impacted by extrinsic rewards and evaluations. [...] Research shows that if a person was already motivated to do an activity to begin with, expected rewards actually interfere with their subsequent interest in that activity.” (Lillard, 153-156)

Positive Discipline tools give children an internal compass and critical thinking skills. These things require a lot more patience and time as they require relationship building on the part of the parent or teacher, but are skills that will serve the child for the rest of his life, in every relationship, aiding in the development of an independent, happy human being.